How to Handle Arguments in Marriage

By DeVine Interventions | March 23, 2022

My husband and I knew we were too upset for a conversation—but we had it anyway. What started as a tense volley of one-liners devolved into a yelling match and then the ice-cold silence that often follows our heated exchanges. By the end of the evening, we were both exhausted from the tension and frustrated by our inability to communicate.

Responding to Emotional Abuse in Marriage

By DeVine Interventions | March 16, 2022

This post is dedicated to the women I’ve met who have inspired me by their faith and strength in the midst of painful marriages.

I’ve seen marriages that reflect Christ and the Church: husbands lovingly leading their homes and wives lovingly submitting to their husbands. How good (and hope-filled!) it is to see real life examples, especially at a time when marriages are being attacked from pornography, homosexuality, and cohabitation. I’ve also seen broken marriages and emotionally abusive relationships, which has taught me a lot about faith.

Don’t Blow Up Your Ministry: Defuse the Underlying Issues That Take Pastors Down

By DeVine Interventions | March 9, 2022

I answered the phone at our office. It was a pastor calling. He got right to the point. “If you don’t help me, I might not be here a year from now.” He was talking about suicide.

Pastors are hurting right now. Yes, everyone is hurting but some are carrying more burdens than others. Pastors are one of the helping professions trying to help everyone else stay on course through COVID, political polarization, and all the other fears and concerns plaguing our nation.

Pastors, like a lot of us, are learning or relearning how to deal with constant stress with corresponding increased anxiety, environments with more conflict, a quickly changing ministry landscape, and the multiplication of needs in those they serve. These are areas where we as counselors can help pastors.

Facing death with hope: Living for what lasts

By DeVine Interventions | March 2, 2022

Is a life-threatening illness, a major life change, or just plain old age forcing you to face your own mortality? Is your eventual death looming like a dark cloud over your life? Are you sure of what will happen when you die? How are you dealing with your questions about death? Fear? Dread? Denial? Keeping busy?

Probably, like most of us, you’d rather not think or talk about your own death. But ignoring your death won’t stop it from happening—the mortality rate is still 100%. Medical advances extend lives, but no one lives forever. In the end, doctors lose every patient. Eventually you and everyone you love will die. Every life on this earth ends in death.

Fear Not

By DeVine Interventions | February 23, 2022

His words remind us (again) that, by His death, He rescued us from the fear of our death. Therefore we are released from having to “cower through life, scared to death of death.”
With her parents’ blessings, Jennifer left the comfort of her Colorado home and moved to Los Angeles to pursue a career in entertainment. As with so many new ventures, things did not go as expected. Real success and security remained just out of reach. So, she took other jobs and tenaciously continued to chase her dream.

The Trap of Comparison

By DeVine Interventions | February 16, 2022

It’s 10:30 pm—time for Erin to hop into bed and scroll through social media one last time. This evening, she lands on Instagram. For a half-hour, her fingers swipe through visually filtered images of beautiful women, families posing as best friends, picturesque plates of food, and houses far more elegant and expensive than hers. She dozes off feeling insecure, envious of her friends, and bitter about the cards she’s been dealt in life.

Creating a Culture of On-Site Self-Care Strategies

By DeVine Interventions | February 9, 2022

Burnout was recently defined as an epidemic and diagnosable condition by the World Health Organization. With the COVID19 pandemic, it is time to begin developing onsite self-care strategies. Whether we are in the office, or joining virtually, there are stressors leading to the burnout that so many have recently experienced. 

As helping professionals, it is even more important for us to take care of ourselves. If we do not have oxygen, we will not be able to put the oxygen masks on others. Do you remember thinking differently, that it is the parent’s responsibility to care for the child first, and place the oxygen mask on them before caring for themselves?

God Wants You to Call Him “My Father”

By DeVine Interventions | February 2, 2022

There is not one psalm that is addressed to “Father,” “My Father,” or “Our Father.”[1] So when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, and he opened with: “Father, hallowed be your name” (Luke 11:2), it must have seemed foreign to them. They had heard Jesus pray this way. Now he invited them to address the Holy God of Sinai as their Father too. This signaled that big changes were ahead. And he invites you, and he invites me, to share in those changes.

When Boundaries Hinder Bonding

By DeVine Interventions | January 26, 2022

Rules are important, but connecting with your teen is essential.

“My 17-year-old daughter never wants to talk with me.” The middle-aged mom at my parenting workshop dabbed at her eyes with a tissue as she described the parent-child relationship she had with her oldest daughter. “I don’t know what to do.”

I listened as the mom recalled some recent conversations with her daughter. And here I use the word conversations loosely.

Teens and Time Management

By DeVine Interventions | January 19, 2022

It is common for teenagers to struggle with stress. Many factors contribute to stress, including poor time management. This issue is amplified as of late 2020 due to how many teens who previously attended in-person classes are now doing their schoolwork online. The structures put in place in traditional schools are not always applicable to school at home. However, these are not the only teens struggling with time management. It is common to many.

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